Korean Healthcare

Hello All-

 

Hope all is well.  We are currently enjoying a low key Saturday with Typhoon Lingling right off the coast, bringing us a little wind and rain.  It was supposed to be a direct hit but shifted at the last minute, but we are enjoying a relaxing and lazy Saturday none the less.

As most of you know, Zach and I recently announced the exciting news that we are expecting Baby P to arrive next March.  I cannot tell you how happy and excited we are to be able to grow our family.  It has been one of the most difficult and challenging journeys of my life, and though I was very hesitant to share those struggles with the world back in April, I am so very glad I did.  I know so many people who have or are experiencing the same thing, but its just one of those things we don’t talk about, and I think we REALLY need to start talking about it, for more than one reason.  One of those being the access to care and the way infertility is treated in the states.  I have been afforded the opportunty to pursue treatment in a foreign country, and let me tell you, it has been EYE opening to see the difference.  Its infuritating for me as I compare my experiences and as I talk to friends in the states going through the same thing. Because there is a huge gap.  And to be honest, its very clear to me now that health care in the states is a for profit entity, especially when I compare the care I received in the States versus here in Korea.

Zach and I started this journey to become parents on March 21st, 2017 (How fitting that Baby P could be born on our 3 year anniversary of starting this journey). We were in DC at the time,  and knew we were going to be heading to Leavenworth.  We thought it would be the perfect time to start our family; his work life balance would be more chill, we would be close to his family, I would not be working since we would only be there for less then a year.  Perfect….. until it wasn’t.   6 months in, we were still getting BFNs (that’s big fat negative for those of you not in the know of infertility speak ((yes, there is a whole list of acronyms for the awful world of infertility)), and so I went to the doctor.  Everything looked fine, so they put in a referral for a specialist. We had no idea there was even specialist for this sort of thing, so all of the sudden, we had all this hope.  But then, the referral process was AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.  It took me 3 months to get the referral approved through Tricare to be seen by an off post specialist in Kansas.  I can say that the worst thing about infertility besides being infertile is dealing with insurance.

So after winning the fight with Tricare, we started seeing a specialist in Kansas.  We had no idea what to expect or what we were doing.  No one knew what we were going through and we didn’t know anyone at the time who had gone through the same thing.  Looking back, our experience with that specialist was absolutely awful and a total waste of money.  We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility, meaning through 6 months of testing and treatment, they couldn’t’ find a definitive reason why we couldn’t conceive. As is the case with most insurance in the states, infertility testing is usually covered, but treatment is 100% paid out of pocket by the patient.  Its expensive.  And there are no guarantees.

And then we found out we were moving to Korea, and of course one of the first things I did was research if we would be able to even continue treatments in Korea, and to my delight,  treatment in Korea is not only exponentially cheaper, its also was more effective then in the states.  So we decided to take some time off from baby making and focus on the big move and embracing a new culture.  Infertility is mentally exhausting, and I have definitely had bouts of depression through this journey.  So a break was much needed to focus on other things and regroup.

Last August, we decided to start the process again.  Which meant going through the process of getting a referral so we could start a new round of testing with our new Korean doctor.  Again, it was an absolutely nightmare.  After working with my PCM, the clinic’s OIC, and the patient advocate, we were finally approved to be seen off base and we started seeing Dr. Lee at St. Mary’s here in Pyeongtaek.  He came highly recommended and the hospital has an international department with English speaking nurses who escort you through your appointments while at the hospital.  Dr.  Lee speaks very little English so it was definitely intimidating in an already stressful situation.  But within just TWO visits with him, we had a diagnosis.  Last November, we found out that not one but BOTH of my fallopian tubes were blocked and just there for decoration.  We were devastated.  This meant IVF was our ONLY option in conceiving a baby.

When we first started this journey, we were both very anti IVF.  In the states, its a very lengthy, medicine heavy, and EXPENSIVE procedure with only a 40% chance of success for my age.  By anti- I mean that we didn’t think it was the right option for us but I have the utmost respect for those couples that go through this and do it multiple times to achieve their dream.  And I still think if we were in the states, we would feel the same way.  But IVF is done so very differently here in Korea.  Its not a for profit industry.  Korea has universal health care and ever for us foreigners who do not have national insurance, its a fraction of the cost for treatment compared to what we would have paid in the States.  They make pure profit off of us foreigners and its STILL cheaper.  By a longshot.

But before we went down that route, I needed to know why my tubes were blocked and wanted to make sure there weren’t other complications.  So I went back to my military OBGYN on post and we decided to do exploratory laparoscopy surgery  to confirm my tubes were actually blocked and to see if they could maybe find out why. In February, I underwent surgery and woke up in the recovery room to find out I had endometriosis as well as sizable fibroids (tumors) on my uterus.  37 years and I had no idea I had endometriosis.  Literally my only symptom was infertility, and though my case is minor, it was significant enough that it blocked both of my tubes, rendering me infertile.  Though we were relieved to finally have a why, it was a devastating blow.   Finding this out so far away from my support system was probably one of my lowest points,  but I have to say that I have been absolutely blessed with some amazing people in my life.  Despite the time difference, my friends and family absolutely stepped up to the plate and helped me through some truly hard times.  And my husband.  Holy crap did I win the lottery with him.  He has juggled a very demanding assignment here in Korea with all the shit that comes with infertility with strength and grace, and I’m so thankful to have him as my partner in all of this.  So we took some time to heal and mentally regroup and decide what we wanted to do.

So in April, we went back to Dr. Lee with our findings from the surgery, and after a few more diagnostic tests, he cleared us as good candidates for IVF.   So we took the plunge.  We decided that we would try while we were in Korea, and if it didn’t work before we moved, we would sadly close this chapter of our lives and start the healing process.

Our theme song for when Zach gave me my daily shot for 9 days.  Will never listen to this song the same LOL. 

 

On July 11th, 2019, I had a raging case of heartburn (and I never get heartburn) so I went home and tested.  We got our first BFP (big fat POSITIVE)!!!!!!!

It took us 833 days since we started trying to start our family.  833. Mind blowing.

I have a friend who also went through IVF in the states around the same time we did, and it was insane to me the difference in the process.  My treatment costs a fraction of what she  paid, but I truly think its because these big pharm companies have identified a cash cow in the infertility world in the States.   The amount of medication she was on was triple what I was on, and I truly feel like her clinic medicated her to make her body fit their schedule, whereas here in Korea, things were scheduled in my treatment based on where my body was in the cycle.  Yes, there was medication involved, but I feel so much more comfortable with knowing that my body wasn’t overmedicated to fit a clinics’ schedule, and instead my Dr. changed his schedule to follow my body and what it was doing.  His strategy and approach yields a 56% success rate, which is absolutely insane compared to the overall success rate of IVF in the states, which is somewhere between 40-45%, depending on your source.  Sure, it was crazy unpredictable, and I had to leave work unexpectedly all the time, but luckily my boss was understanding and it all worked out.

Our two beautiful embroyos we transfers, only one stayed with us. 

Our first ultrasound of Baby P on 7/22.   How fitting they look like a heart 🙂 

So I sit here with a total love hate relationship with Korea.  Korea has been hard because of Zach’s work schedule (and even more challenging fitting in doctors appts around my body’s cycle…Uncle Sam gives two shits about when I’m ovulating) and the air quality, but if it weren’t for his orders and us being in Korea, I’m not sure we would have ever gotten pregnant.  I know for a fact we would not have pursued IVF in the States, and I’m not sure we would ever had been properly diagnosed because of the way infertility clinics operate in the States. I am so thankful for the team at St. Mary’s that helped us from the beginning with such compassion, care, and patience; walking us through our options and treating our case individually instead of making us feel like we were being herded and just another way to make money.  1 in 8 couples face infertility for a variety of reasons in the states, and many of them cannot afford treatment to grow their families.  I’m in infertility support groups and most of the discussion is how to come up with the money to pay for these treatments, many resorting to fundraising, refinancing mortgages, dipping into their 401ks, and even traveling to other countries because taking weeks off of work, paying for a plane ticket and hotel while undergoing treatment is still less expensive and MORE EFFECTIVE than getting treatment in the United States of America.   Like I said, its infuriating and heartbreaking. If you are so moved, write your representatives!  As awareness grows for infertility, there are organizations lobbying for mandating insurances to cover treatments and hold pharmaceutical companies for inflating medication prices.  There are currently 12 states that mandate coverage, as well as a handful of companies that provide coverage to their employees, but there is still a huge gap in our country.

So as I sit here absolutely exhausted and nauseous, I am loving every miserable moment of it because I know we are so very lucky to be here.  We are so excited to be here and know how fortunate we are to be able to experience this.

In other news, we are heading to Virginia at the end of October for my brother’s wedding.  We will be in DC from the 26th-28th, Richmond from the 29th-31st, and then Roanoke for the wedding until we fly back on the 3rd.  We would love to see as many of you as possible while we are in town, so let us know if you want to meet up!

For those of you familiar with Asia, any suggestions on destinations for a BabyMoon?  Zika is a thing here so its definitely limiting our options (no Thailand or Philippines unfortunately), but we are looking to get away one last time as just the two of us in January before life gets super chaotic and awesome.

 

 

 

The Korea experience we didn’t want…

Happy New Year Everyone!

Hope 2020 is starting off well for everyone 🙂    We have about 6 months left in Korea now and its going to be a whirlwind for sure!  Sorry for the lack of blogs as of late;  between Zach’s work schedule and me starting to get the house ready for the move and Baby P’s arrival, we haven’t really been venturing out, so nothing new to report.

As many of you know, we said goodbye to Valcor last month, and man, was that an experience.   When we found out we were coming to Korea, we knew we would be here for 2 years so we decided to go ahead and bring both Gizmo and Valcor with us instead of leaving them behind.  We were in the middle of our infertility journey, and as they are our furbabies, I just couldn’t see myself being separated from them.  Because of Gizmo’s age (he turns 15 this year), and Valcor’s kidney disease, I did extensive research on veterinarian care here to make sure we would be able to take care of them in sickness and in health.   Although Humphreys does have a vet on post, services are limited and so I knew we would be doing all care off post.

If you have read some of my previous blogs or even follow some of the news stories coming out of Korea, you might know that Koreans have a history of eating dogs and only recently has it become popular to have pets in the sense that we do in the States.  Koreans favor lap dogs, and larger dog breeds here live a life on a 5 foot chain or puppy mills.  So as you could imagine, I was quite nervous about finding quality care.  Coincidentally, I was able to find a veterinarian not far from our house that not only studied in the states, but at Iowa State University, Zach’s alma mater.  We established care with her from the very beginning, and so when Valcor’s health took a turn in December, we called her up and she got him in right away.

Because of Valcor’s age (he was only 6), we all thought his body would be able to recover, which is why we fought for so long for him.  When it became apparent that he needed more extensive care than what our normal vet could provide, we decided to take him to a more full service vet closer to downtown.  I called Zach on a Tuesday night while he was still at work, and told him he needed to come home asap so we could take Valcor to this new vet.  So at 8pm at night, he and I load Valcor in the car and try to find this new vet.  Of course we passed the place the first time, so innocently I turned down the next street to make my way back around.  Funny Story, by turning down that side street, Zach and I finally found the infamous Red Light District of Pyeongtaek.  It is off limits for soliders of course, which is probably the only reason why I know it existed.  So my hysterical self finds myself navigating through a maze of a red light district, all the while being flagged to pull over by all the Korean ladies working that night.  I really think that was one of Valcor’s last gifts to us.  It was the comic relief that we needed and appearently a rite of passage for us foreigners living in the area, to accidently stumble upon the Red Light District.  It only took us a year a half to stumble upon. Sorry no pictures!  LOL. Thank you Valcor!

So after a few days at this new Vet, it became apparent that Valcor was not going to recover and we made the very tough decision to end his suffering.  So we brought him home to spend one last day with us (and because all the vets in the area are closed on Sunday) and planned to call on Monday to make arrangements for him.  That last day was tough, as he didn’t have the strength to even get up to go to the bathroom, so we took turns making sure he was as comfortable as possible.  At one point in the day, he made his way to the room where we are keeping all of Baby P’s things and took a nap on the chair.  He hadn’t gone in that room in months, and I think that was his way of saying goodbye to the life he didn’t get to officially meet.  Looking back at the past 6 months, it was getting harder and harder to get him to eat, which was so unlike him, and so I think he finally stopped fighting because he knew Baby P was well on the way and we were going to be ok.  He was the best companion during all the tough times and the beginning of my pregnancy, and I am absolutely devastated that he is no longer here to meet Baby P.

Valcor’s last day with us, hanging out with all the baby stuff.

Zach and I decided we didn’t feel right leaving his body here in Korea, so we decided to have him cremated.  Our everyday vet offered the service, and so Monday morning we called to make arrangements.  Here’s where we got the experience we never wanted and had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.  I will warn you that reading further and viewing the rest of the pictures are not for the tender hearted, so continue at your own risk.  Because the purpose of this blog was to share our experience in Korea; good, bad, and everything in between, I feel I would be remiss to not share this.  But you’ve been warned….

So we said our mournful goodbyes to Valcor, even the vet techs were in tears,  and we were going over logistics of the cremation.  The vet used a 3rd party for this service, and so she handed us a pamphlet that was completely in hangul, and said that we would receive text messages.  Being as upset as we were, we didn’t think anything of that comment.  BIG MISTAKE.

Neither one of us were ready to go home, so we decided to go to the food court on post to eat our feelings and distract ourselves.  About an hour after we watched Valcor take his last breathe, I started getting text messages.  Lots of them.  So in the middle of the food court, I take a look and immediately have to put my phone away.  The 3rd party company is texting me pictures of a play by play of Valcor’s journey to being cremated.  I asked a Korean friend of mind about it, and she said it is quite popular here in Korea.

 

At first the picutres are kind of nice, it shows him in a beautiful viewing room,  but then they sent a picture of him in his box, and then said box going in the incinerator.  I can’t unsee these, and so I am sharing them with the world, because misery loves company.  I received these pictures just ONE HOUR after we said goodbye.  Though I appreciate the efficiency of the company, holy crap, could you just wait or maybe give people an option to opt out??????  So if you are morbidly curious, below are the pictures we received via text.  Maybe its just me, but I was wrecked by these images.  So yeah, a Korea experience we definitely did not want on so many levels.

 

 

 

Its in slide show form, so if you don’t want to see, just scroll down quickly to the last part.

 

 

 

 

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Sharing is caring, right?  Sorry guys.

I would like to tell you that Gizmo has been sad that his brother is gone, but grumpy old man seems to be very content to be the center of attention again and has been extra snuggly with both Zach and I, and his new thing is to lay on my belly and feel Baby P kick.  SWOON.  Its adorable!

 

 

Zach and I are looking forward to one last vacation before Baby P gets here, destination Australia and a long layover in Singapore on our way back.   We are both looking forward to a little escape and some R&R before things get crazy as we sprint to the finish line of this duty station and the arrival of Baby P.

We post updates on how things are going with Baby P in our online baby shower event on facebook that my friend put together for us, so if you are interested in being included in that let me know and I can add you!

 

That’s all I’ve got for this time.  Until next time peeps!

 

 

 

 

 

whoa…we’re half way there

Hey All-

 

Sorry for the delay in blogs, just been super busy and haven’t really had a ton to report as of late.

But, we have officially hit the half way point in Korea and I have to admit, I’m more than a little excited to move away from here when the time comes.  I definitely have a love/hate relationship with Korea, and though I absolutely plan to come back to visit, I would never chose to live here ever again.  In one hand, we have had the opportunity to learn, experience, and see so much of the world that we never would have had we not been stationed here, but in the other, Korea has definitely been the hardest duty station we have been thus far.  Zach’s hours are insane, and so most of the time I am left to my own devices so far away from home.  This move has definitely taken a toll on some of my oldest friendships, but it has also fostered new and stronger ones that I am so infinitely grateful for (you know who you are xoxoxo).  I actually had a “good friend” of mine earlier this year tell me that the time difference was just too hard, and that was the last time I heard from them.  I was devastated at the time, but have come to realize you can’t make people want to put in effort, near or far, and such is life.  Though it sucks to have lost a friend, this move has also helped me to form some really amazing friendships that stand the test of the time zone hardship…and thus, the love/hate relationship with Korea.

Zach started his new position with a new unit here in Korea, and though I had high hopes that his work life balance would improve, those hopes were quickly squashed the first week.  Hard to imagine, his hours are actually worse in this new job, and it definitely has made me a bit bitter with us being here.  It almost feels like a deployment because he is never here, but he is here enough that I am left with dirty dishes and dirty clothes to deal with but no husband to spend time with or to help with the every day responsibilities.  Hence the bitter.  Praying these last 11 months fly by and things calm down because my patience is running very thin with all of this. And I miss my husband.  Which is crazy because we live in the same time zone but I feel like I never see him anymore.  Rumor has it that the list of next assignments comes out in October and we will know where we are heading sometime in the beginning of next year. Below is a pic of him with his SPO team and the plaque they presented him before he moved to his new unit.  The work was crazy, but I know he is going to miss working with this crew.  They were amazing and I appreciate them taking such good care of him and each other this past year. 

We do have a visitor coming in September and we *might be coming home in November for my brother’s wedding if we can make it work.  Like I said early, I do love Korea as a visitor, so I’m excited to have the opportunity once again to show off all the cool and wonderful things that Korea has to offer.  If we do make it to the states in November, it will most likely be a quick trip since we both work.  Will keep you all posted.

Though things have been difficult, we did get a chance to check another Korea bucket list item off by attending a Suwon KT Wiz baseball game.  Let me tell you, I have been to soccer matches in Europe, and I have NEVER experienced the kind of energy I witnessed at this baseball game.  I honestly don’t think Koreans come for the actual game itself, but for the fun and atmosphere.   There was a mini water park in the outfield, a pet café, all the food options, and all the 40oz beers your college self wishes you could handle.   Interestingly enough, the Korean league plays with a designated hitter (sorry National league), and they do the equivalent of the 7th inning stretch after the 5th inning.  Both teams had huge cheering sections, cheerleaders, and when your team is up to bat, as a fan you sing at the top of your lungs to encourage the batter at the plate.  EVERYONE was on there feet while the home team was batting, and all ages were singing along.  Very much reminded me of a soccer match in that regard.  When we got there, I noticed everyone where swim gear, and I thought it was for the water park, but learned at the home teams first at bat that I was sadly mistaken.  To help combat the heat, the crowd is hosed down from various sprinklers and water cannons, and without a poncho you will leave the game SOAKED.  I posted a video of this on my Facebook page, check it out if you get a chance.  It was next level. And so much fun!

Zach and I also ventured to the west coast and to explore a local beach, which was only an hour and a half drive.  The beach is situated on a nice little cove, and has a super cute little town, a water obstacle park in the shallows, and a pretty expansive beach when the tide is out.  We definitely will be taking advantage of that beach a lot more now that we know its there.

Since Zach is working this weekend, I went to an auction with some of my girlfriends here, and let me tell you, I wanted to buy all the things.  From vases to tea sets to Korean furniture, all the beautiful things were there.  It was a really cool experience and I came home with a few goodies to help commemorate our time here in Korea.  We plan on buying some furniture before we leave here, so it was pretty cool to see all the different things out there for us to buy.

 

That’s the update for now.  Until next time…

Land of the Rising Sun

Hello All-

Its been a pretty hectic few weeks for us here in Korea:  Zach’s job is non-stop (surprise), I started a new job, and I just tonight finished my last class for my MBA program.  Hello Graduation!  Working and going to school this past month while also keeping the household afloat while Zach works like a mad person was super stressful, but I am now graduated and can have some balance back in my life.  To celebrate, Zach and I went to Japan over the weekend for a quick escape.

I have always been fascinated with Japan,  so being only an hour and a half flight away is definitely a perk of living in Korea.  My Dad was stationed in Japan when I was little, and I remember him bringing back little trinkets from traditional Japan, and that always stuck with me.  So instead of going to Tokyo like most people do, we opted for the more traditional side of Japan, spending time in Kyoto and Osaka.   Because we only had two full days, I opted to sign us up for bike tours of both cities so we could see as much as possible.  In Kyoto, we biked 30kms around the city in about 8 hours and made about 8 pit stops along the way.  Kyoto used to be the capital of Japan, and thanks to a US delegate who was married to a Japanese woman during the second world war, our original plan to drop the atomic bomb on Kyoto was scrapped in order to preserve the history of the city.  Our tour guide was a guy named Jaime, originally from Chile, and he has been living in Japan for 26 years.  He came to visit Japan after he graduated college, fell in love, and came back to the country to major in Japanese culture.  His passion and enthusiasm for Japan was contagious, and we learned so much in just a day with him.

Kyoto has always been towards the top of my bucket list, especially after reading and watching the movie Memoirs of a Geisha, so being able to visit Fushimi Inari Shrine was definitely a highlight of the trip for me.  Some takeaways from the trip:

• Though there are two religions in Japan, Buddhism and Shintoism, most Japanese believe themselves to be non-religious.  Though there were missionaries, Christianity never really took hold in the country because of this way of thinking. To them its more of a way of life, and not religion per say.
• The number 4 is bad news bears in Japan.  It is believed to be very bad luck and you won’t see a 4th floor in an elevator and we saw several instances were numbered parking spots went 1, 2, 3, 5.  If you are a foreigner living in Japan, most likely your relator will try to get you to rent/buy on the 4th floor because no one wants to live on that floor.
• Japan is expensive AF.  By far our shortest trip so far while in Asia and almost the most expensive one.  Totally worth it, but definitely hurt the bank account for sure.
• The train system there is stupid.  Not all of the lines are owned by the same entity, so even within the same city, to get from point A to point B, you could potentially have to buy multiple tickets because its not all one cohesive system. Though, I think they realize its overly complicated, because multiple times we were approached by strangers to make sure we didn’t need any help navigating or figuring out what tickets we needed to buy.
• At the Shinto temples, you can get your fortune, and it could be one of 3 options:  Great luck, good luck, or bad luck.  The Japanese don’t believe that bad luck is necessarily a bad thing, because if you get a fortune of bad luck, that means the only way to go after the bad luck is up.  I thought that was such a neat way to look at things.  Forever an Optimist.
• Unlike its neighbors, Japan actually has a very refreshing stance in terms of acceptance of the LBGTQ community, and we actually saw a transgender Geisha in Kyoto: She was beautiful.
• Japan is not for the claustrophobic.  A lot of the touristy areas were so jammed packed with people that I got pretty anxious.  Streets are narrow.  Restaurants are small. It was intense.

The second day in Japan, we did a biking food tour of Osaka.  Osaka is the second largest city in Japan, and is mostly a considered a blue collar town.  We sampled Korean food in Korea town, ate all kinds of cuts of beef, and of course had sushi as well. But it was fine to eat all of that since we biked to all of our destinations, right? 

Fun Fact:  The mother of  Rocket man, aka Kim Jung Un, was actually born in Osaka.  If the people of North Korea knew that little juicy tidbit, the family dynasty as we know it would not be.  Because his grandfather worked in a factory in Japan during the war, he would be seen as a traitor and the whole family would be in concentration camps due to the family linage traitorous ways.  Crazy, right?

To celebrate our anniversary, Zach and I splurged and treated ourselves to a nice Kobe Beef Steak dinner.  The dinner itself was fabulous, but the chef and his family who helped him run the place was really the star of the show.  Hands down, probably one of the best dinning experiences I have ever had.  And the steak….OMG it was to die for.  Sorry, Vegans… I regret nothing.

Overall, it was an amazing weekend learning about a new culture, exploring and eating our way through Osaka and Kyoto, and just being disconnected from normal life for a while.

That is the last of our travel plans for a while: Zach is changing units sometime this summer and I guess I should work a full week at my new job since I have been there for almost two months now.  YOLO.

Until next time peeps.

 

 

Its been awhile…

So I’ve been getting some grief on my lack of blog posts, and I apologize for the lack of content.  But if I’m being honest, 2019 has been a little rough thus far and I just didn’t have a lot of positive to share, so I felt that silence was the best policy.  So after talking it over with Zach, I am writing this post a little hesitantly, but we feel its important to share what has been going on with us as to bring awareness to something that we have been dealing with.  It is of a personal nature, and we are by no means asking for advice or even sympathy.  But, until we started dealing with this, we had no idea this was even a thing, thus our desire to bring awareness to the subject.  But first….

We were lucky enough have our first visitor to Korea and I didn’t realize how much I needed that visit until it was happening.  It was so much fun showing off this country and being reminded of all the awesomeness that is here.  I was able to revisit some things that you just can’t miss if you have the opportunity to travel to Korea, and luckily Sarah was adventurous and we were able to experience some things that were new to us as well.  She did a fantastic job documenting our adventures, and hopefully you have had some time to see the pictures she has posted on Facebook.  Thank you so much for coming to visit, Sarah!!!!!!

By far though my favorite part of her trip was our weekend trip down to Tongyeong, which is about a 4 hour drive south from where we are.  Its a sleepy little port town that has several ferry terminals that you can take ferries to hundreds of different islands off the southern coast of the country.  Its a very popular vacation destination for the Koreans, but not a lot of westerners venture there, so it was a bit more difficult to navigate then some of the larger tourist areas in the country.  About an hour into our drive, the check battery light came on in our 2002 Sonata.  A quick google search told me that it was most likely the alternator.  As we continued South, the radio died and we knew we  were in trouble.  Luckily there was a rest stop close and so we decided to pull off there to see if we could get some help.  We turned off the car, and then tried to turn it back on, and of course, the engine wouldn’t start.  And of course, we don’t have jumper cables either.  Luckily, after striking out with a few people at the rest stop, we were able to use a translation service to communicate with a gas station attendant.  He called one of his local tow truck friends and we able to get the car towed and the car fixed within two hours.  Super stressful start to the trip but Korean kindness and google translate to the rescue, we were able to get help and get back on the road.

The main reason for the trip was to check out an island which was reported as one of the most beautiful hikes in Korea.  So we got up early the next day, took a taxi to the ferry, and caught the ferry to the island Saryangdo for a day of hiking.  We were literally the only westerners on the ferry and we noticed that the Koreans came to party.  At 8:30am they were drinking 40s of beer and the soju was flowing.  The ferry even had a band going on the top floor and everyone was having fun dancing and enjoying their beer before the hike.  And let me tell you, this hike was probably the most beautiful hike I have ever done.  Pictures don’t do it justice.  We read that it could be done in 4 hours, but it took us closer to 7 because we kept stopping to take in the views and just enjoy the moment. 

Wanting to blend in, we ourselves had brought some beer and soju to enjoy on the mountain, and had some left over.  So on our journey back to mainland on the ferry, we decided to break out the last of our stash and enjoy in the merriment. This was by far the best decision we could have made.  Almost immediately, the Koreans noticed what we were drinking and were so excited to see us partaking in their local drink of choice.  Before we knew it, a few of them asked if they could sit with us and shared with us some of their beer and their snacks.  So we brought out our snacks and shared with them.  It was such a cool experience.  We speak very little Korean, they spoke very little English, but it didn’t matter.  We shared our snacks, our beverages, took pictures, and danced the whole way back to port.  We tried dehydrated seafood for the first time, they had their first granola bars, and all was well with the world. It was such a great reminder of how open and welcoming the Koreans truly are, and it will forever be one of my favorite memories of our time here.  They just seemed so excited that we had done the hike, that we were embracing the local beer, and were so excited to practice the little English they did know.

Once we got to port, we didn’t see any taxis to take us back, so we were waiting on the bus to hopefully take us back to town when the two musicians who were playing on the ferry pulled up and offered us a ride back to town.  We all looked at each other, shrugged, and said why not.  If we were in any other country, I most likely would have turned down the ride, but dang it Korea, you are just so warm and kind.  So we got into the car with complete strangers and went with the flow.  Turns out they are a brother and sister musician duo who know a little English, and the guy is also a engineer who builds ships in Korea.  On the way back, he insisted on buying us ice cream for the ride. So, my first hitchhiking experience also included free ice cream, no one died, and we got to where we needed to go.  I will call that a win by all counts.

It was a great visit with Sarah and a much needed reminder of how awesome Korea can be.   Because like I said before, its been a rough couple of months.

We have shared what has been going on with some, and like I said before, because this is a personal matter, we are sharing this with hesitation.  But we think its important to bring some awareness to the subject.  So many people are affected and suffer in silence and feel alone in their struggle, and we did for a long time until we started opening up about it.  And the timing of this is purposeful as well as today marks the last day of Infertility Awareness Week. So here it goes:

Zach and I have been trying to grow our family for two years now, unsuccessfully obviously.  We went into growing our family having no idea that infertility was really a thing that could affect us, and it has been devastating to deal with to say the least.  In sex education you are pretty much scared into thinking that if you look at the opposite sex, you will get pregnant.  And yes, I know I’m exaggerating, but we had no idea getting pregnant could be this hard.  Everything we learn in school and see in the movies and hear from our friends and family suggest its the easiest thing in the world.  We are both relatively healthy, exercise regularly, eat right, only drink occasionally: getting pregnant should be a guarantee, right?….and yet we have never been pregnant in the two years we have been trying….sometimes I still find it hard to wrap my head around the fact that Zach and I will never naturally become pregnant. It still feels unbelievable. And yet its our reality.    1 in 8 couples in the United States suffer from infertility; its more common then you think and yet we don’t really talk about it.  Once I started opening up about it, it blew my mind just how many people I knew that had struggled with the same thing.  But its such a personal thing.  And its embarrassing.  And the emotions… Ugh, the emotions.  But, it shouldn’t be an embarrassing thing.  There is something medically wrong with me, and I did not have a choice in the matter, but there is a stigma around it and it sucks.  So for the first year of this journey, we tried to deal with this in silence.  And it was awful. And then we started to open up about it and found out that it effects so many people, not just us.   Hence the reason for  this blog.

I’m hoping by sharing a little bit of what we are going through, you as the reader might have a little more awareness around asking people about their reproductive plans.  Because honestly, I could write a book about all the shitty things that have been carelessly and thoughtlessly said to me over the past two years as I have been navigating this unfamiliar and hostile terrain that is infertility.  And sure, I get that there was no malicious intent and there truly is a lack of awareness, but when you get yet another negative pregnancy test, put on the brave face to act like everything is normal, and get asked randomly if you have kids or when you are going to have kids, it takes everything in you to not break down and cry… Or punch someone (it could go either way, honestly).

Being a military spouse, every time we move, I get asked “Do you have kids?” and though it has gotten easier to answer the question without wanting to die inside, it still turns the knife in my heart just a little.  And then, people being people, say the worst things to follow it up that very personal question (these are all true statements said to me over the past 2 years):

• You are so lucky you don’t have kids!  (It sure doesn’t feel lucky)
• You know you aren’t getting any younger… (Really, I had no idea.)
• So what do you do with yourself?  (oh, my self worth is tied to my reproductive ability????  Thanks for the news update)
• Must be nice to have all that extra income!  (Infertility treatment is not covered by insurance and is most definitely not cheap.  But thanks for that assumption!)

People don’t have kids for a number of reasons: because they choose not too or because they simply can’t. But at the end of the day, its NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.  Seriously.  And if someone decides to share with you their struggles with infertility, please don’t try to give advice unless you know what you are talking about.  Some friendly advice I have gotten over the past two years:

• Why don’t you just adopt?  –Adoption is a lot more complicated then people realize.  Its expensive and it is not a guarantee.  Its also an emotional rollercoaster.  People who go the route of adoption due to infertility must make sure they are mentally ready for the process.  Its not as simple as just deciding to do it.  There is no baby store you go shop at and its a done deal.  There is no “just” about it.  Couples who deal with infertility have been through the wringer.  I can say that from the bottom of my battered heart.
• Just relax, it will happen when you least expect it.  Really?  Would you say that to someone diagnosed with Cancer or Diabetes?  Infertility is a medical condition, not a state of mind.
• Are you tracking your ovulation?   Really?  Is that how all this works?  I just thought we held hands really tightly and that’s how babies were made (yes, that’s heavy sarcasm.  Yes, that’s actually been said to me… I can’t make this shit up)
• Just go on vacation!   Pretty sure Zach and I have that covered and yep, still not pregnant.
• Maybe kids aren’t in Gods plan for you.  I still don’t know what to say to this one.  I find it hard to believe that God would want to bring this kind of pain to someone.  But maybe that’s a naïve vision of God that I have.
• Why don’t you just do IVF? There’s that ‘just’ word again. Not all couples are a candidate for IVF, and IVF is usually not covered by insurance, meaning that couples that pursue this option pay thousands and thousands of dollars out of pocket to grow their family.  Its also not a guarantee.  The average IVF cycle in the states costs around 15k and only has a success rate of 50%.

My point, if someone does share with you that they are struggling to conceive, its ok to not know what to say, and it is also ok to not have any advice to give.  Because honestly, we are figuring all of this out too.  I don’t wish this situation on my worst enemy, but for me personally, what has been the hardest part, is dealing with the innocent yet personal “do you have kids” question and dealing with the emotional fallout that is caused by all this.  I have had several friends start their families while we are on this journey, and I am almost ashamed to admit that when I found out they were pregnant, my first emotion was not happiness for them.  It was sadness, then jealously, then guilt for feeling that way.  But this is new terrain for me, and I am learning that its ok to feel the way I feel.  Don’t worry, I eventually get to the happiness for my friends, but it does take some time to get there.  Because infertility is the stealer of joy.  It changes you.  Everyday you are faced with reminders of what you yearn for so desperately, but may never have.  And that is hard to learn to deal with.

This is not an easy journey.  And its terrifying to put it out there for the world to know.  But if it helps to bring awareness to infertility and improve the dialogue and understanding that goes with it, then we are happy to share our story.  But, our story might not have a happy ending.  Its not over for us by any means, but its also very possible that we may have to close this chapter of our lives empty handed.  But that’s life and we are learning to cope with that.   After several OBGYNs, 2 specialist,  countless needle pokes,  intervaginal ultrasounds, and one exploratory surgery, we finally were diagnosed with the reason why we weren’t getting pregnant and we have a game plan.  The specifics of that are personal, and we ask that you respect that privacy.  

We hope that in reading this, it may give you some insight into something you didn’t know about.  Honestly, I had no idea about infertility until it was staring me straight in the face.    So, though we have decided to keep the rest of our journey off of social media, we hope that sharing that we are 1 in 8 couples that suffer from infertility can help change the conversation for the collective whole.

 

 

 

 

Blame China for everything….

Hello Everyone!

Hope all is well.  I should be writing a 10 page term paper for my legal and ethical class right now, but instead, I figured it would be a better use of my time to update you all on how things here in South Korea are going.  I know, procrastination at its finest.  Recognition of the problem is the first step, right?

Not a whole lot has been going on, partly because Zach’s work schedule has been insane and partly because the air quality has been so god awful these past few weeks that its hard to justify going outside unless you really have to.   If you are friends with Zach on Facebook, send him some love.  He has been working 14-16 hour days, even on the weekends, and most likely won’t get a day off for another two weeks.  He’s tired and functioning on coffee and adrenaline at this point.  They call this time in key development positions for major’s Iron Major for a reason, and he is definitely feeling it.  He is hopeful that things will slow down to 12 hour days in a few weeks, so keep your fingers crossed for him.  Vietnam and Cambodia seem a lifetime ago and I am anxiously awaiting for him to tell me some leave dates so he can get some much needed R & R.

Though I am grateful to be here with my husband, I don’t get to see him all that much, and without school I would be bored to tears (let’s be honest, with school I am bored to tears).  As long as I survive working on a 16 week group project for one of my final classes (I am the only one not in Colorado so the time difference has been challenging to put it lightly), I will graduate in May.  So I am currently in the process of a background check for a government job, and will be gainfully employed again hopefully by the end of the month.  Its not the dream job, but its a step in the door and will hopefully make future moves and transferring a bit easier than its been.  I’m also just excited to have something to occupy my time once school is over since Zach works such long hours.  And since we will both be working, we are in the process of buying a second vehicle.  If all goes well, I will be pimping a Jeep Cherokee like a boss.  I’m super excited.

Otherwise, the only other big thing going on is the air quality here.  I cannot put into words how god awful it is, and has been for the past month.  Apparently this is not typical, and though we were “prepared” for bad air to happen in the spring, this winter has been a huge slap in the face to all of us here in Korea.  A few of my friends and I were having lunch last week discussing it.  Its so frustrating because we all got here the same time last year and were really embracing being here in Korea.  But I think all of us are over being here because the air quality has such a negative impact on quality of life.  We get daily emergency notices on our cell phones from the government warning us of the air quality, and you can just look outside and see the smog.  Its insane.  And depressing. And so very frustrating because there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it except hope the wind picks up to move the pollution away.  I was looking at some of the pictures I have taken while being here in Korea, and in almost all of them you can see the film of pollution in the air.  Its disgusting.  The first two pictures below were taken on my walk to post a few weeks ago.  That haze is not fog, but a visual of the air quality here in Korea.

 What’s infuriating to me is the fact that most Korean’s blame China for the quality of air here.  And sure, I think there is some validity to that.  China is a communist country where everything seems to be  made, and they are all about making money, even at the expense of the health of its citizens.  Their factories and coal plants are not regulated like ours are in the states, and because of the way the air stream works in this part of the world, the jet stream brings pollutants to Korea from China. Regulation costs money, which therefore drives up product prices.  Everything is ‘made in china’ because it is truly cheaper, but at what costs?  The pollutants in the air here have been linked to stroke, heart disease, in addition to all the respiratory issues.  But Korea, in their zeal to be a formidable economy and compete with the rest of the world, have popped up coal plants and manufacturing facilities left and right.  When I first moved here, I was so very impressed with their way of dealing with trash, but after living in country for almost 8 months now, I understand that things aren’t what they seem.  To be in compliance with the law, you must purchase specific trash bags, which are VERY expensive, and sort your garbage accordingly.  However, the locals circumvent this by just burning their trash.  Its cheaper in the long run.  There are no laws against this that I’m aware of and this burning of trash only makes the air quality that much worse.  Its very frustrating being here because until the government here recognized that Korea in fact contributes to their own shitty air quality and stops blaming China, I don’t really see things getting better.  Its sad because if it weren’t for the air quality, Korea would be amazing.  Sure, Zach’s job here blows, but Korea has a ton to offer.  Unfortunately, I would rather not risk my health to explore those opportunities.  Its been a pretty somber realization to say the least.  I’ve been considering buying a better face mask to protect myself.  Seriously.  I actually considered the mask pictured below. Its that bad.  So keep an eye on what is going on in the US, because we just confirmed a coal lobbyist as the new head of the EPA.  Once your air is polluted, there isn’t a ton you can do.   Asia is learning this lesson the hard way.  It’s clear that the current US administration is more concerned with saving money then looking at the consequences of making things cheaper.    After living in Asia for 8 months and feeling like crap most days because of the air quality, I’m appalled at the complete disregard we seem to have for the environment as a whole.  It does affect you, whether you believe it or not, and not in a good way.

Alright, I guess I should maybe start this term paper.  Maybe.  Until next time, breathe easy my friends….

visible smog on the horizon

I almost don’t remember what fresh air looks like

This is from 123 floors up at Seoul Tower.  Smog 😦

 

 

Good Morning, Vietnam!

Alright, so I’ve totally been slacking and have had every intention to post this two weeks ago, but you know, life.  Sorry!  So here is the much anticipated part 2 installment of the vacation Zach and I took back in January, featuring Vietnam.

I will be completely honest, I knew a little bit about Vietnam before going, but probably not as much as I should have.  I knew the US was involved in the war there, that American’s protested our involvement, and we eventually withdrew and the side we were supporting did not get their way in the conflict, and because of that, Vietnam is a communist country. Outside of that I was pretty clueless, so it was beyond eye opening to land into Ho Chi Min City from Cambodia mid afternoon and be ushered directly to the Vietnam War Remnants Museum.  Our tour guide explained to us that this museum was erected not too long after the war, and was originally named the US War Crime museum, but in the 90’s when we lifted the embargo and stabilized relations, the government decided to change the name to the War Remnants Museum in order to play nice with our government, but they literally only changed the name of the museum.  It was very much an Anti-America propaganda museum, and our tour guide let us know we could spend as little or as much time as we wanted too.   Don’t get me wrong, war is war, and both sides do not so nice things, but that museum painted a picture that the US was the devil and the Viet Cong were angels.  If you didn’t have previous knowledge, you would leave that museum thinking the Viet Cong had zero guns and tanks, because everything on display were our weapons, our bomb shells, pictures of the destruction and devastation caused by agent orange.

Needless to say I left that museum feeling like enemy of the state and a little worried about how we would be received being Americans.  But our tour guide explained that everyone pretty much understands that the museum is propaganda set up by the government, and for the most part the Vietnamese have a very positive view of Americans, they just don’t love our government and their meddling ways.

And I will say, I absolutely loved our time in Vietnam and its people despite the less then warm welcome we got from that museum.  Despite such a tough history and a suffocating government, the Vietnamese people are some of the happiest people I have ever encountered.  They are always smiling!  It was kind of unnerving, but also made for a wonderful vibe.

After the museum, we went to the Independence Palace, which was built by the US government in order to help prop up the South Vietnam government during the Vietnam war.  The palace itself is pretty magnificent and rumor has it, it might be the venue where Trump and Kim Jong-Un will be meeting later this month.   The President of South Vietnam at the time had a direct line to the white house from the palace and that phone is still on display.

 

Ho Chi Min City is a bustling metropolis, home to 8 million people and 9.5 million motorbikes.  You do the math.  Traffic was INSANE.  There are very few traffic lights for a city that large and crossing the street is like a real life game of frogger.  Our tour guide told us that the bravest driver has the right of way, and I believe it.  There was no rhyme or reason to the traffic pattern but it works for them.  Though there is an obscene amount of honking, the drivers are generally patient and not aggressive with each other at all and there are hardly an accidents, which totally blew my mind.  It was also insane to see what was transported on those motor bikes.  Our tour guide showed us a picture of a live cow being transported by motorbike in the middle of the city.  Seriously, if there is a will, there is a way, and it is being transported by bike. 

Because the city is in the south, and the people in the south were fighting against communism in the war, all the locals call the city Saigon, which was the name of the city before the Vietnam War.  The government renamed the city after the war in honor of Ho Chi Min, a prominent and respected leader of Vietnam in a way to kind of erase what Saigon stood for before the war.  But even in the north of the country, where communism was welcomed, they still call the city Saigon as well.  It was very confusing at first to say the least.

We had tour guides in both the North and the South of the country, and of course their government came up, since Vietnam is really only one of two communist countries left in the world (China being the other one….most look at Cuba, North Korea, etc as dictatorships anymore).  No one likes the communist government and people from both areas told us they wish the South had won the war.  But for them, the Vietnam war was not about government types as it was for us (we joined the war to prevent the spread of communism), instead it was about independence and being able to govern themselves on their own.  Previous to the Vietnam War, France had colonized the country for over 90 years, and before that, China invaded off and on for over 1000 years.  They just wanted peace to stand on their own.  At least that’s how it was explained to us.  They all agreed that the fact that there is no homeless, and no one is really poor unless they are part of the indigenous tribes that live in isolation, they feel stifled by their government but have no power to do anything about it.  And let me tell you, it was odd to walk around Saigon and see no one begging on the street, no homeless in a city of that size.  It was pretty incredible.  But unfortunately that pro was one of the few that was listed of a communist government.  Everyone is require to get an education, but parents have to pay for all education from grade school to college.  So if a family can’t afford education for their children, they will only send them long enough to learn how to read and write and then they go to work to help contribute to the family.  They also pay for healthcare 100% and the government checks in on them if they haven’t seen a doctor in a while, because the government makes money off of people seeing the doctors there.  They do have insurance similar to what we have in the states, but health care is very expensive and if they are able they try to seek treatment in other countries because they feel the doctors there perform unnecessary procedures to make money for the government.  Yikes. We unfortunately ended up giving some money to the government while there because Zach developed what I lovely called the communist cough; he was pretty darn sick for a few days and was in need of some meds that were no over the counter.  Luckily, you don’t need a prescription to get medicine from a pharmacy there, and so we went to the Rx around the corner, explained his symptoms to the nice lady behind the counter, and was able to get antibiotics and hard core cough meds in less then 5 minutes.  Yay Communist Cough.

Despite the government, Vietnam was amazing!   It was so incredibly cheap (a bowl of Pho was $1-2 dollars, a beer less then $1).  And Vietnamese coffee has ruined me for LIFE.  Because milk was so scarce during the wars, they figured out that using condensed milk was a tasty alternative to flavoring their coffee.  In Hanoi,  they are famous for their egg coffee, where they whip an egg yolk for 10 minutes until light and frothy and then pour the coffee over it to cook the egg.  The result is decedent and amazing.  Seriously.  All other coffee sucks after drinking coffee in Vietnam.

While in the south, we also toured a tunnel system the Viet Cong and villagers used during the war to wage war against the US and survive our Agent Orange attacks.  It was fascinating.  The system of tunnels we saw was home to up to 20000 people at one point and they widened the tunnel we were pictured in below by 40% so tourist can fit.  People living in those tunnels had severe health issues as a result, but it provided them a way to survive a brutal war without leaving their village.  Of course, this site is maintained by the government and so propaganda was heavy here as well.  We watched a video where villagers were celebrated as “American Killers” and how the Viet Cong were a simple and kind people just trying to gain their freedom.  It was uncanny to watch, and our tour guide again warned us and said if we didn’t want to watch, that was fine.  But we sat through all 12 minutes of it because even if it didn’t paint the entire picture, its always good to listen to another point of view.

Another thing I learned about Vietnam was just how long of a country it is.  Whereas our flight from Cambodia to Vietnam was only 45 minutes, our flight from Saigon to Hanoi was 2 hours long.  Hanoi is considered the “little Paris” of Southeast Asia, and you can definitely see where the French occupied the city for almost 100 years.  Even though the French were not kind to the Vietnamese during their time there, the people of the area still build houses replicating the French architecture of Hanoi.  It was absolutely gorgeous to see.  Where Saigon was more of a modern city with skyscrapers and the like, Hanoi is an old world town with tons of character showing its storied past with all the motor bike traffic of a large city.  We toured a Taoist temple, the prison where the French tortured and killed thousands of Vietnamese and later housed US prisoners of war, including the late John McCain, and also had the please of eating at the same restaurant that Anthony Bourdain and President Obama ate at.  It is a great point of pride for the country and the Bun Cha was AMAZING!  Probably one of the best meals we had in Vietnam.  And all for the hefty price of $3 a bowl.

Overall, my favorite part of the Vietnam portion of our trip was a cruise we took to Ha Long Bay.  It was absolutely breathtaking,  and pictures most certainly do not do it justice.  We kayaked, saw monkeys in the wild, went squid fishing, and got to tour a fishing farm to see how the locals live off the land to make a living.    You will notice that it looks foggy in most of my pictures, and unfortunately, that is smog.  The last two days in Vietnam were awful for air quality, and honestly, at the airport it was the worst I have ever seen it since moving to Asia.  This makes me infinitely sad because even though air quality isn’t great in Korea, I had it in my head that we would be able to take a quick flight to another country in Asia to get a breathe of fresh air.  That is absolutely not reality.  Thailand is experimenting with drones creating artificial rain right now because the smog has gotten so bad currently.  So though it was absolutely gorgeous, it was also bitter sweet to see the area tainted by pollution.  But as everyone is making enemies with China, companies are figuring out that the government in Vietnam is very open to manufacturing in the country, and at a fraction of the cost, so companies like Cannon and Samsung now have their largest manufacturing facilities in the world right outside Hanoi.  And the people and environment are suffering because our tour guide was explaining to us that there is absolutely no regulation on this companies, and so they dump and pollute as they see fit.  It was horrific to drive through on the way to the airport.  People living near these areas are developing cancer and other medical concerns in a higher concentration then other parts of the country but the government does not care because it is bringing money into the country.  So the people are frustrated.  And rightfully so.

Overall, I would absolutely recommend going to Vietnam, and quite honestly, if we had more time in Asia, we would love to go back.  We only scratched the surface and overall it was an amazing experience.  The people are amazing, the culture is colorful and fun, and they are so proud of how far they have come after such a tough past.

Right now, Zach and I are gearing up for him to be gone for the next two weeks and then navigate his crazy work schedule going though March and April.  One of our friends from DC is coming to visit in April (YAY!!!!!)  and we may have a visitor in March (stay tuned), so we will be in Korea for the next couple of months.  As soon as Zach can get some leave on the calendar, I think we are going to hit Japan next so I can live like a Geisha for a few days (so excited!!!!!).

Right now Korea is gearing up for Lunar New Year (Chinese new year, but you know, no one likes China anymore), so its been interesting seeing all the preparations in both Vietnam and Korea over the past view weeks.  Its the year of the pig and Lunar New Year is like our Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years combined so everything will be shut down starting Tuesday (including post! yay).

So don’t be surprised if you get more messages from me then normal starting this week (I will be bored with Zach being gone)….consider yourselves warned!  Anyways, that’s all for now.  Hope all is well with you all.   Until next time….

Cambodia Vacation

Hello All!

As most of you know, Zach and I just got back from spending 10 days in Cambodia and Vietnam.  We saw and learned so much, and because of this, I am going to do two separate blogs on each country, because otherwise I feel I would be doing an injustice to what we experienced in our adventures.

Ever since I can remember, Cambodia has been on the top of my travel bucket list because of the temples at Angkor Wat.  I’m not sure when I first learned these temples existed, but I do know it was well before Tomb Raider made it popular back in 2001 (the one with Angelina Jolie). So naturally, Cambodia was one of the first countries we wanted to see while living in Asia when we were able to get away for more than a few days.

I will be completely honest with you in saying besides the existence of Angkor Wat, and hearing murmurings of the killing fields in Cambodia, I really didn’t know a lot about the country as a whole or its history.  We flew into Siem Reap, which is not far from where the temples are, and because of time restraints, stayed in that area during our time in Cambodia.  We were 100% surprised to learn that though Cambodia has its own currency, the US dollar is the preferred currency and is accepted everywhere, and because their currency has very little value, it was given as change since there are no coin currency as far as we could tell.  We tried paying with what little Cambodia money we got while there, and were surprised to find that most businesses would not accept it as payment.  That being said, the US dollar goes a long way in Cambodia.  Beers in downtown Siem Reap were 50 cents, and a 15 minute tuk tuk ride from our hotel to downtown was about 2 dollars.  We had a bit of downtime while in Cambodia, and so Zach and I treated ourselves to a spa morning at our hotel, where we were pampered for FOUR hours with a body scrub, body wrap, full body massage, AND facial, all for the price of $100 each.  It was luxurious and so very relaxing, and that price was too good to pass up!   The food was amazing and cheap as well, and we tried a local favorite, Amok, several times for the hefty price of $2 per bowl. 

Our first full day in country was of course spent in Angkor Wat, and though we spent an entire day there, I could have easily gone back for a few more days.  It is considered to be one of the largest religious monuments in the world, and was built in the 12th century.  It is estimated that it took almost 40 years to complete and was constructed by almost 300,000 people and thousands of elephants.  Upon completion, it is estimated that almost one million people lived at the complex.  To put this in perspective for you, at the same time in history, it is estimated that there were only about 50,000 people living in London.  Mind. Blown.

Angkor Wat was built as a Hindu temple and then later converted to a Buddhist temple, and then again converted to a Hindu temple before it was abandoned and lost for about 300 years before being rediscovered in the 1800’s by a French scientist who was looking for butterflies in the jungle.  The religious war between the Hindu and Buddhist of the country are evident in the temple throughout, and because of its bloody history, most Cambodian’s consider themselves both Buddhist and Hindu, adopting philosophy and tradition from both.  There are relics from both religions present there today, and we even had a Buddhist monk bless us with holy water while at Angkor Wat.   Though there is a sense of harmony now, most of the Buddha statues in the temples are either missing or beheaded, and you can see where his carvings have been removed and replaced with a Hindu god over the years.

Despite all the evidence of religious upheaval and discord, the temples are still absolutely breathtaking, and several different countries are pitching in to help with restoration efforts and research to learn more about the temple complex.  There is evidence of the temple being painted in vibrant colors and you can see the divots in the walls where thousands of precious jewels have been stolen over the years.   It was kind of unbelievable to be standing there, taking it in, and knowing it was built in the 12th century.  There are hand carved murals throughout the temples, depicting anything from religious scenes to evidence that the origins of what we know as MMA fighting had its roots in the area.

Along with evidence of age and religious civil war in the country, there is also evidence of the Khmer Rogue Regime in the temples, as they often took cover in the area, knowing that the age and splendor of the complex would deter forces from engaging with them while they hid.  You can see bullet holes from the AK-47s used in conflict throughout Angkor Wat, and there are still landmines throughout the area, as Cambodia has the most active landmines of any other country in the world.  They have recently re-discovered two more temples deep in the jungle, however, they are not open to the pubic because of all the landmines in the area.  Though the buildings themselves are so impressive and beautiful, there were so many signs of the struggle Cambodia and its people have endured throughout the complex.  (you can see the bullet holes in the picture below)

Not far from our hotel, we took a short drive to see and learn about the killing fields in Cambodia, which was by far the hardest part of our trip, at least for me.  In the 70’s while most of the world had its eyes on what was going on in Vietnam, Cambodia was going through a civil war of its own, where the communist party of the country, known as the Khmer Rogue, who were supported by the North Vietnamese army, were attempting to overthrow the current government.  In 1975, there were successful, and for 4 years, this regime murdered over 25% of the Cambodian population.  Our tour guide, Sam, lost 25 family members during this time, and though he was eager to educate us about the time and why the genocide happened, he would not go to the killing fields with us, and understandably so.  This regime believed in self-sustainment of the people, and so thousands of people died of hunger and disease because they were expected to be able to feed themselves and create their own medicine.  Those who were against the regime, who were educated, who wore glasses, were executed.  There are hundreds of sites throughout Cambodia where thousands upon thousands of Cambodians lost their lives to the hands of this regime, and human bones are still found throughout the countryside to this day.  Sam, our tour guide, explained that most Cambodians view this regime as more cruel then Hitler and ISIS combined, as they were known to tie people to trees, and then mutilate and even EAT their victims while they slowly died.  25% of the population wiped out in 4 years.  The site we visited is home to a pagoda where human bones are on display so that family members can come and honor their loved ones.  It is estimated that 8,000 Cambodian’s lost their lives in this location alone.  I only took one picture here, because it felt wrong to take any more, but I also wanted to be able to share what we saw and what we learned.  Our tour guide shares the story of those years with his guest because he doesn’t want the same thing to ever happen again, and he believes that educating the world of what the Khmer Rogue Regime did is the best way to do that, and so, in honor of him and his family he lost, I share their story here.

Though Cambodia has come a long way from those dark years of the regime, the government is very much corrupt and the people of Cambodia struggle to makes ends meet for the most part.  Though everything from tours to food and beer were dirt cheap in terms of what I am used to, the poverty and living conditions that the people endure is hard to ignore while you are there.  On top of a corrupt government, the people also have to fight a rainy season that hinders their day to day activities.  We visited a floating village on a near by lake and it was incredible to see, and we were also told that during rainy season, these villagers move their houses on the lake in order to survive and to be able to fish for a living.  In the picture below, you can see a few buildings on tall stilts to accommodate the rainy season, but for the most part, they just up and move their operations for half the year.

Despite the poverty, despite the gruesome history, I highly recommend a trip to Cambodia.  We spent 4 short days there and feel like we only scratched the surface.  I’ve heard the coastline boasts amazing beaches and the country itself is quite beautiful, though it was HOT AND HUMID for January, so beware.  But the people and their spirit were absolutely lovely,  and though part of the trip was learning the hard facts of their history, Siem Reap felt like a college town with a laid back attitude and all the beer your heart could desire for college student prices.  Lotus farms dot the horizon on the way to the floating village, and they were absolutely beautiful to see and experience.   And ANGKOR WAT did not disappoint by any stretch of the imagination.  Pictures seriously don’t do it justice and I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to go to one of my top bucket list places.

 

So as you can see, lots of info for just Cambodia, and not one mention of the other half of our trip in Vietnam.  I will try to put that blog together in the next couple of days as I get back into the swing of things.   Classes start back up this week for me and Zach is already back to the grind.

Until next time, peeps..

Hello, 2019!

Hope everyone is having a good start to 2019!  Zach and I have been laying low since we leave for vacation in 3 days, but all in all its been a good start to the year and we are excited to explore 2 new countries in a few days.

Zach and I brought in the new year with some friends of ours, and in doing so we learned that Korean’s bring in the new year by watching the first sunrise of the year.  It was pretty neat seeing all the pictures of the sunrise the following day on social media, and maybe next year we will partake in that tradition.  Since we didn’t learn about this until right before midnight, there was no way we were waking up to see that sunrise…hey, at least I’m honest.  Instead of watching the ball drop, we watched them ring a bell in downtown Seoul to symbolize the new year.  I have to say, it was kind of weird being 14 hours ahead of the East Coast, but still a fun night overall.

We have officially been in Korea for 6 months now, and though the honeymoon stage is over, overall its still been a great experience; its hard to believe our time here is a fourth of the way over!  I guess time flies when you are busy exploring.  I will say that now that the newness has worn off, I’ve been noticing some things that I didn’t in the beginning, and its been pretty eye opening to say the least…

I know racism and nationalism is not something that is only found in the United States, and quite honestly found all over the world, but I will say I was pretty naïve to how prominent those two sentiments are here in Asia.  I had no idea that the Koreans don’t like the Japanese, that the Filipinos don’t like Koreans, and NO ONE likes China.  Seriously, no one likes the Chinese, but everyone happily takes their money because they are big vacationers.  When we were on our honeymoon in Bali, our tour guide made a few off hand comments about the Chinese during our trip, but I kind of just brushed it off, thinking nothing of it.  When we went to Malaysia in November,  both tour guides we had made off hand comments about the Chinese.  Its been eye opening. Right now, there are signs right outside the main gate professing hate towards China.  People actually paid money to print “we hate China” signs.  Multiple signs.  Its a little intense.  Needless to say, its been very interesting observing and learning about why these cultures hold negative feelings towards each other and seeing it play out as we travel and live our lives here in Asia.

In many of my blog entries, I have reiterated how accommodating and nice the Koreans have been towards us, the foreigners as we are called, and that still holds true to what I have experienced so far.  However,  I have been hearing stories about Americans being denied service at various establishments in Seoul,  and even here in Pyeongtaek.  We met a couple at a party a few months ago and they had been in Seoul the night before and were kicked out of a bar for being foreigners.  I have seen posts on our spouse’s Facebook page about this happening to others as well.  And of course these individuals have been outraged: how dare they! Is this normal?   Its also been interesting to see that all of these people who have either posted on the Facebook page or that I met with these stories were all Caucasian.  I couldn’t help but find the irony in the situation being that shit like this happens all the time to people who have a darker skin complexion.  I might have internally said to myself “oh you poor thing…you don’t like that???”  I remember when I first moved to Virginia, I had a friend in school who wasn’t allowed to come to my house because my Dad had some color to his skin.   I didn’t know what racism was until then, because I grew up with a Caucasian Mom and a Puerto Rican Dad…I just didn’t see color.  I lived my life blissfully unaware of assholes like that until I was 15 years old… Thanks Virginia. So, like I said, its been fascinating to see people be the victim to that kind of mentality for the first time and how outraged they have been in response.  And don’t get me wrong, it sucks that it exists and that it happens, and I was really surprised to hear that it was happening here in Korea towards us foreigners, but seriously, worse shit has happened in our own country.  I am by no means belittling what happened to them here, because it does suck,  but a part of me finds it ironic. If that makes me an asshole, so be it. At least I own it.  And then, ironically, I was walking to post just the other day and noticed  “Koreans Only” painted on a door not even 3 blocks from base.   The things that become obvious when you are in tune with an issue; I have literally walked by that “Koreans Only” sign  for 6 months without noticing it.

 

But you know what?  Right outside of base feels a little like an American shopping center…everything is in English, there are all kinds of restaurants and shops that make it feel like home,  and we as a foreign population make little to no effort to learn the language while we are here, not only taking advantage of the hospitality we are shown, but also expecting it.  So shame on us.  While it sucks that there are places that I am not welcome at here in Korea, I kind of get it.  And honestly, I don’t WANT to go somewhere I’m not welcome.  So as much as I hate that it even exists, I’m not up in arms about it like some of my peers are, because overall I have been showered with nothing but kindness and warmth from the Koreans, but realistically I can’t expect for every Korean to be happy we are here and welcome us with open arms.  We have to remind ourselves that we are guest in this country, and unfortunately some of our peers act like grade A jackasses while here, making a bad name for those of us who are respectful of our time here.  Because of these shenanigans, we have curfew and there are establishments that are anti-foreigner:  I’m not going to let that hinder the awesome experience I am having so far, but I will definitely be more mindful  while out and about in Korea to make sure I am wandering into places where I am welcome.

Hope I didn’t ruffle too many feathers with this post, but the purpose of this blog is to share my experience here in Korea: good, bad, and ugly.  And unfortunately, I am learning that there is an ugly side of Korea, but luckily I haven’t witnessed it personally directed at me.  I can only keep treating my fellow humans just as that, humans, and hope that this way of thinking is contagious.

Next blog entry will be about our upcoming adventures in Cambodia and Vietnam!  I am so dang excited for this trip!  After that, we will be taking a few month break from traveling; Zach’s work schedule is cray cray for the next few months and we aren’t made of money LOL.

Until next time…

 

 

Bye 2018

Sorry its been awhile since my last blog post, just hasn’t been a lot going on and if I’m being honest,  I’ve been feeling more bah humbug then jolly this past month.    2018 was definitely a roller coaster of a year, and though there were some pretty awesome things that happened (I mean, I’m living in Korea!), there have also been some stuff that has not been so fun, and I’m ready to say goodbye to 2018.

I think it’s safe to say that the honeymoon period is officially over, and the things that come with living abroad that were different or exotic in the first few months have officially become inconvenient and annoying.  Its also been incredibly eye opening how much a 14 hour time difference has made it seem impossible to get a hold of people who used to be solid fixtures in my life.  But its also been fun learning about all the different apps that make connecting so easy, no matter the time difference, and though I have been surprised by the radio silence by some, I have been more then blessed with amazing people who make an effort to continue to be apart of this great adventure (Snapchat filters are my new favorite means of communication!  LOL).    Some of the not so fun parts of living in Korea aside from the time difference:

• All soldiers here have a curfew, and so from the hours of midnight to 5am, Zach must be either at home or in for the night where ever he may be in Korea during that time frame. If soldiers are found busting curfew, there are severe consequences so its not something to mess with.  And though that really doesn’t effect us most days (because I value sleep! haha),  this was a bit of a hassle for the Army Navy game.  Because of that beloved time difference, the game started at 5am our time.  There is a bar/restaurant on post that was hosting a watch party, with doors opening at 4am.  In order for Zach to be able to get on post before curfew to watch the game, he had to get a leave form signed granting permission to come on post before 5am.  Seriously.  Though I understand why curfew is in place, it feels like we are being treated like children.   New Years Eve will also be a pain since technically he can’t be out and about after midnight.  Curfew does not apply to dependents, but you know, solidarity and all.  So we will most likely be having a low key NYE as to set a good example for all the younger folks out there.  booooo.
• Koreans drivers.  No matter what I describe to you in these next few sentences, I don’t think you can fully understand how crazy these people are behind the wheel unless you experience it.  Before we moved here, I read about how the drivers were and thought to myself, no big deal, I’ve driven in New York City, it will be fine.  It is not fine.  They are crazy here.   Red lights are suggestions if there is no traffic camera and blinking red lights mean GO here.  I have been stopped at a red light like a good law abiding citizen multiple times and had the car behind me go around me (by going over the median) to run the red light with traffic flowing.  Its insane.  And exhausting because you really can’t be a distracted driver here.  At all.  Hopefully I don’t forget all the rules of driving in the next 18 months.  I have a huge fear of forgetting what flashing red lights mean once I get back to the states.
• The air quality just simply blows.  I’ve been sick all week because we have had poor air quality for the past month, and because I walk everywhere around town, I think it finally got to me.  It really sucks because there is really nothing you can do about it except to limit how much you go outside, but its no fun being cooped up when you have elephants live above you….ok, they aren’t elephants, but it sounds like it.  I can’t wait for school to start back up! haha.  Let’s just say Zach and I will only be living in single family homes, townhouses, or the top floor for the rest of our lives.  Lesson learned.
• The price of produce is too damn high here.  Don’t get me wrong, we get a cost of living allowance every month, but I can’t seem to find it in me to pay $8.29 for a pack of strawberries, $7.19 for a head of cauliflower,  $3.29 for ONE avocado, and $6.00 for a head of lettuce. And since the commissary charges these prices, the local markets sell these items, but only slightly cheaper, so in the end, its all still a rip off.  I miss avocados. Every once in a while I break down and buy one.  Usually they aren’t good quality.  This one pictured below is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in Asia.  I might have cried for joy when I cut into it. 

Speaking of strawberries, Korea grows strawberries in greenhouses and they are in season December and January.  One day at the local market, there were packs of strawberries for sale for little over 5 dollars which is a steal compared to the price on post.  So I caved and bought a pack.  Best. Decision. Ever.  These strawberries are quite literally the best I have ever had.   So now I begrudgedly pay $6 for a pack of strawberries since they are in season, but they are so damn good.  #takeallmymoney

I just wrapped up another semester, and only have 3 more classes between me and graduation.  I took 6 classes this semester, and it kicked my ass.  But I’m happy to report that somehow I managed to pull off straight A’s, and as long as I survive my capstone, I will be receiving my MBA in May.  One more semester.

Even though Zach is supposed to be working half days until the end of the year, that really hasn’t panned out so we have been pretty low key and just relaxing for the most part these last two weeks.   We leave for Cambodia and Vietnam in 2 weeks and I am so excited to escape the cold and shitty air for 10 days and I know Zach is ready for vacation for sure (its 10:30pm right now and he is still at work….half days my ass)

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas, and have a safe and fun New Years!  Until next year….